Who Doesn't Love Hugging?
The benefits of hugging are universal.
It was Grandparents Day at my Grandson's Nursery School, and all of us, children, grandparents, and teachers, were seated at long low tables on child-size wooden chairs. My grandson's feet touched the floor, even though he was sitting on my lap. With the kids' help, the teachers decorated the room with colorful paper cutouts and garlands of paper flowers, adding to the day's delight.
And we were singing. My little guy also rhythmically bounced up and down, landing on my thigh bones each time with thuds. My quads were beginning to throb. He was into this activity and excited by the music and the ambiance, and I didn't think my being there added much except for providing a softer surface to land on after each bounce. I had no idea what was to come next.
Without warning, he turned to me and cried out, "Hug, hug. hug," he wrapped his arms around my midriff and squeezed me as hard as he could. I immediately responded with open arms and hugged him back as hard as possible. It was a fusing of our bodies, eliminating space between us, clearly the best hug of my life.
This hug touched me and brought tears as I reimagined this event.
While some people can think of hugs as an invasion of personal space, it is more often regarded as a non-verbal sign of affection and welcome. His hug filled my heart with love, and for him, his hugging me was part of his expression of unbounded joy over being there, being four years old, and having me available to embrace. He was overflowing with life.
Another significant hug happened when my first husband knew that the end of our marriage was at hand; we ended up at the same party.
He asked me to dance. I said OK.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me as close to him as he could. It was more like an extended hug than dancing, and I sensed how desperate he was to hold on to me.
In those moments, I felt his protection in a way I hadn't before. His body was so comfortable and familiar that I secretly considered taking him back. But, instead, I faced the unknown: What would my life be like from divorce onward? A divorce turns one's life upside-down, leaving all the pieces of it all over the floor.
Sadly, as the music ended, his remarks reminded me of who he was: a neurotic mess. But I remember his embrace, which spoke louder than his words.
My upbringing didn't include hugs. I don't remember either parent ever hugging me. The first time I remember being embraced by a woman was when I met my future mother-in-law. I pulled away as she got closer because a breast-to-breast encounter seemed improper. She interpreted my resistance as fear of my catching her cured breast cancer. She explained that cancer is not catchable from hugging, and I explained that I had never embraced a woman before, which surprised her. We got along with each other despite that incident.
For the wordsmiths, you may be curious about the origin of the word "hug." First, the verb "hug" (used in the 1560s) related to the Old Norse word hugga, which meant comfort. The second theory is that the word is associated with the German word hegen, which means to foster or cherish and meant initially to enclose with a hedge, like my ex-husband's arms.
In addition, hugging offers health benefits. For example, people need 8 to 12 hugs a day, says Wikipedia. In addition, studies have shown that hugs increase oxytocin levels and reduce blood pressure.
Think about how much we suffered during the pandemic's worst times — a hugging hiatus. However, I'm now vaccinated and have renewed huggy-like squeezes to family and friends, adding comfort to my life.